January 20, 2015
(This is part of a 365 project during my 70th year where I write and illustrate a blog on each day's gift.)
After a long
struggle with Parkinson’s, my father passed away on December 2, 2014. Often
during his declining health, my sisters and I questioned why he was still
alive. What purpose? Certainly, his quality of life was nearly nonexistent. In
the past year, he needed 24/7 care. My sisters and I are grateful that we were
able to honor his wishes to remain in his apartment rather than going into a nursing home. Though money
was fast running out, we were lucky that he had been frugal and had some
savings that allowed us to bring caregivers to him in his apartment.
We were
especially blessed that his caregivers were compassionate people who truly cared.
This was obvious in so many ways. Not only did they show a lot of patience in
dealing with the sometimes erratic emotions and behavior that goes with
Parkinson’s, but they also went out of their way to enrich his everyday life
in little ways. One knitted mittens for him to wear when his hands often became
cold. Another brought a bulletin board to him to display the daily post cards I
sent while I was traveling. They all listened and communicated with him and
showed him respect even when he was so helpless. Some of them visited the
funeral home and came to his funeral. One spoke eloquently at his funeral. This
was not part of their job. They were not being paid. They did these things because
they cared for him.
Since his death, my sisters and I have received messages (another today) and letters
from these women he had late in his life when he needed them.
“I was
grateful to have known him for the short time I did. His wonderful nature was
clear to me despite his disease…We had many merry times together. We were sad
together and held each other up. What a blessing…His values and personality
lives on in each one of you.”
“…I
have always felt that my time with Mr. Alvin was a divine appointment. We had
so many good laughs and enjoyable conversations… Mr. Alvin taught me what
diplomacy is. He showed me how a person accepts, forgives and loves others; and
lastly, he showed me what dignity looks like. Our relationship fulfilled a
vacant place in me that longed to know the love of a father and grandfather. All
of you treated me well and very thoughtfully. Not only did Mr. Alvin change my
life, each of you did as well. It was a privilege to work for Mr. Alvin and
you, the family. I want you to know that I have always felt appreciated. My
year with all of you is forever etched in my soul.”
“ Your father has crossed my mind
many times in the past weeks and I keep thinking of the things he gifted me
with, patience, understanding, gratitude and so much more. He truly was a
wonderful man. He encouraged me to stay in school and he believed in me
when I did not…he was the reason why we were brought together.”
Perhaps our father hung around a bit longer so
he could deeply touch just a few more lives before flying away.
Today’s gift is compassion.
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