Day 313 Girls’ Nights Out

October 18, 2015

(If we live with an open and grateful attitude, every day will bring a gift. This is one of 365 gifts during the year I turned 70.)

Today my sisters and I left West Virginia to drive home to our families. This weekend, a girls' two-nights-out, we spent more time together than we have in the past.  We did some sightseeing, shopped, watched movies and ate together. My sisters asked me if the weekend turned out the way I expected it would. The answer is simple because my expectation was for us to spend time together. We did. 

We had a chance to talk with one another—about family, religion, feelings, and the past. They reminded me that I was a rebellious teenager. I have always joked with my sisters that, as the oldest, I went to the trouble of breaking rule barriers, which they didn’t take advantage of. 

We also talked about the present, attitudes, defining moments, the challenges of raising children today and how aging is affecting us personally. We are blessed that we came from a stable home with parents who loved their children and each other and did not show favoritism. Jealousy has not been part of our feelings for one another. We have never argued over things our relatives have left in their estates and are more concerned with people than with things. We are much alike in showing empathy and a basic desire to be considerate and helpful, but we are different in how we deal with uncertainty and what others might think of us. Among the three of us, I probably am most comfortable with uncertainty.  Because I take chances and tend to live inside questions, I am always on a journey.

My gift today is a triad of sisterly love.

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> Day 314: Rainbow in the Black

You can find links to my other posts on this project here:
http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html

Day 311 Sister Time

October 16, 2015

(If we live with an open and grateful attitude, every day will bring a gift. This is one of 365 gifts during the year I turned 70.)

Exactly a month after our mother’s birthday and approximately a month before our father’s birthday, my sisters and I went away for a weekend together. In years past, we had gotten together regularly as a larger family with children and grandchildren, especially on holidays, but this time it was just the three of us together with no distractions. We were at liberty to focus on ourselves—a rare treat. For the first time, I booked an Air BNB place-- in Shepherdstown, Virginia on Nobels Ridge Farm. 

Isolate a honeybee from her sisters and she will soon die." Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life Of Bees

Before our father died last year, he expressed concern that once he passed away, his daughters would go their separate ways. During his illness we were always in close contact with one another and often had to put our father’s needs first. Now that we’ve almost finished with his estate, we need to catch up with our families and our own health issues. Dad needn't have worried. This weekend, for the first time, his daughters were taking a trip together and leaving their families home to fend for themselves. 

This trip mattered. Today, we arrived in time to explore some of historic Shepherdstown, eat dinner in Charlestown and then watch The Secret Life of Bees in our host’s large and unique movie theater. It was the beginning of a long-awaited weekend where we could share experiences, be ourselves and love unconditionally.

When it's time to die, go ahead and die, and when it's time to live, live. Don't sort-of-maybe live, but live like you're going all out, like you're not afraid.” Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees.

My gift today is the beginning of a weekend with my sisters.

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Day 312: Maze

You can find links to my other posts on this project here:

http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html

Day 291 Picnic at Home

September 26, 2015

(If we live with an open and grateful attitude, every day will bring a gift. This is one of 365 gifts during the year I turned 70.)

David and I were cheered by a surprise visit today from my youngest sister and her husband this afternoon after our friend Jeremy left in the morning. I don’t see my two sisters very much these days. After the death of our father last year, we’ve returned to our own lives, trying to catch up with our own medical appointments and home maintenance issues. After David’s major surgery and slow recovery, when our days have been turned upside down and inside out, it feels good to be returning to a more normal life. 

Last week, Nancy brought food. Today Jaymie brought lunch supplies and we provided the ambience as we ate outside. The hummingbirds have not left our area yet, although I read that they usually migrate in September and return in April. Our conversational flow was sometimes interrupted when a hummingbird hovered at the feeder and then zipped away sideways like a helicopter. The black-capped chickadees also came by chirping their greetings. Tall loblollies swayed in the breeze and wind chimes became our background music. 

We were in harmony with one another and the creatures and sounds around us. People and nature bring a welcome balance to the day. 

My gift today is a visit from my sister.

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> Day 291: Looking Up

You can find links to my other posts on this project here:

http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html

Day 34 - Three

January 12, 2015

(This is part of a 365 project during my 70th year about gifts that each day brings.)

Photo by Joseph Ayers

Sisters— Nancy two years younger than I am and Jaymie nine years younger. Today I spent time with them. Like most families, as we married and had our own children and grandchildren, life became busy with an ever-growing circle. My sisters and I always saw one another on holidays at family gatherings, talked on the phone and sent emails. Lately, however, as our father’s health became worse, our communications grew more frequent. Now after his death in early December, we have been spending more and more real time together trying to settle his estate matters. Although the cause is a sad one, our time together is good with shared memories.

As we were growing up, our parents had always been careful about never showing favoritism among their children and that has been a good thing. I can honestly say that I’ve never been jealous of my sisters. Well… just for a brief time I have to admit that I was a little jealous that  when she was 12, Nancy had a boyfriend and I didn’t. After all, I was 14 and I should have been the first to have a serious boyfriend. As it turned out, none of that matters unless you’re a teenager.

I realize there are many families who spend a lot of time arguing after a parent’s death. They disagree about various decisions and money matters. My sisters and I have shown none of that dysfunction. There is genuine love and sharing as we make this journey together. My younger siblings especially show concern for the others’ feelings and they show patience with my impatience at dealing with possessions. There is no greediness among us. In fact, we tend to bend over backwards for the others to make sure no one is cheated.

All this reminds me of how lucky I am to have had the parents I did and to have two sisters who understand the value of relationships.

 

My gift today was spending time with my sisters.

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> DAY 35 First Memory

You can read my other posts on this project here:

http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html