Day 316 Touchstone

October 21, 2015

(If we live with an open and grateful attitude, every day will bring a gift. This is one of 365 gifts during the year I turned 70.)

Finding balance in touch

Near the end of her life, my maternal grandmother, my Mom-Mom, lay in bed and sang hymns. Only 50 pounds then, she was unaware of those around her and of the passage of time. She was wrapped in her own pain and fading body. When her birthday came around, members of the family gave her yet another nightgown and more flowers but she did not know she had received these presents. 

I thought it futile to buy my grandmother a birthday present but, at the same time, I wanted to reach out to her. I wondered if she could feel things with the tip of her fingers. On my dresser, I had a smooth piece of shell with pale sky-blue and pastel purple running through it. I had worn it even smoother as I frequently rubbed my thumb over and over its natural indentation that seemed to be made for my thumb. Maybe as I touched it, I was unconsciously connecting with a larger part of earth, ocean and sky. I gave this smooth shell I’d found on a beach to my great-aunt and asked her to give it to my grandmother.

The next time I talked with my great-aunt, she said that my grandmother held the shell for hours, running her fingers back and forth over the exact indentation where my fingers had. I don’t know if this gift comforted my grandmother on some level, but I like to think that it did. 

Today I discovered in my house a forgotten heart-shaped stone that I probably picked up on some trip. Its marbled colors please my eyes but, more so, its smoothness soothes my soul. I touch it and remember my grandmother.

My gift today is a smooth heart.
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Day 317: Then and Now

You can find links to my other posts on this project here:
http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html

Day 67 – Ephemeral

February 14, 2015

(This is part of a 365 project during my 70th year where I write and illustrate a blog on each day's gift.)

Today I saw a line of cars on Mountain Road with drivers rushing to buy flowers or candy for Valentine's Day. I saw one man at the Lake Shore parking lot trying to balance a bunch of flowers and struggling to retrieve keys from a coat pocket with gloved hands while a light snow blew around him. Maybe some of the drivers were headed to Victoria’s Secret. Regardless of where they were headed, they wanted to show some emotion to another with a special purchase.

My valentine gift did not require a trip to the store. It did not necessitate going out into the cold. In a quiet waking moment, with my sleeping husband right next to me, I felt a warm hand close to mine. I reached out and touched his palm. Gently, a finger moved in response against my hand.

Small moments like this are worth much more than a dozen red roses or a box of chocolate covered cherry Godiva candies or heart-covered satin somethings from Victoria’s Secret. (I’ll admit, however, that I do not turn away such nice gifts.)  Purchased things are ephemeral: roses wilt and die; chocolates wind up going down the toilet; clothes fade and wear out. Quiet connections as small as a touch of a finger last longer than these other gifts-- for these connections live deep in the heart.

My gift today is a gentle connecting touch.

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> DAY 68 Tsk Tsk

You can read my other posts on this project here:

http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html