Day 318 Milestones

October 23, 2015

(If we live with an open and grateful attitude, every day will bring a gift. This is one of 365 gifts during the year I turned 70.)

If a day can have a theme, my today centered on first year milestones.

At lunch a group of us talked about alcohol and other addictions where even such a small increment as one day is cause to celebrate freedom from dependency. Most people, however, look at the one-year mark as most significant. We hear comments such as, “This is my first year cancer-free” or “I’ve gone a year without smoking.”

We celebrate a baby’s first birthday and a couple’s first anniversary as benchmarks toward a positive future. Some even celebrate survival anniversaries such as surviving a first year in a difficult job or a first year on your own.

Tonight, our former son-in-law and now daughter-in-law celebrated her 42^nd birthday and her first birthday as a woman. It was heart-warming to see so many of her old and new friends there to support her. 

It is interesting that in my Defining Ourselves project, only 13% of respondents used gender as part of their self-definitions and they were not the two transgendered participants. Perhaps this is because newer daily milestones, both large and small, mingle with those from the past to continue to evolve and shape who we are. 

Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.” ~ Susan B. Anthony

 My gift today is a piece of  birthday cake.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~­ 

> Day 319: Giving

You can find links to my other posts on this project here:
http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html

Day 185 Remote Possibilities

June 12, 2015

(This is part of a 365 project during my 70^th years where I write and illustrate a blog on each day’s gift.)

Pink or blue?

Improv theater took me to Baltimore tonight. I’ve often admired people who can get on stage and go with the flow in the moment without benefit of a script. I’ve been on stage with no script a couple of times at Stoop Storytelling but I was in control of what I would say. In improv theater, the actors play off of one another and you have to be able to shift directions. 

Our new daughter-in-law, who has shifted directions, performed with the improv group Remote Possibilities tonight. She used to be our son-in-law. It would seem that what was once a remote possibility has turned into a reality for her. She is facing her gender dysphoria head-on in what might seem like improv to some but which is a transformation that has evolved over many years.  

The transgender concept is not new to me. I have some transgendered friends and have had many discussions on this topic. Deborah Rudacille’s book, The Riddle of Gender, shed some light for me on a topic that most people cannot wrap their heads around. What makes the most sense is to understand that gender is not binary—although when a baby is born, a most asked question shows an acceptance of binary gender, “Is it a boy or a girl?”  The reality is that there is a gender continuum. Regardless of physical appearance, people fall in different places on the continuum.  Most things in life are not binary. When a doctor asks how much pain I am feeling, it’s on a sliding scale. There are degrees of sadness and happiness and usually not an either/or. 

I have noticed a transformation in our daughter-in-law. She smiles much more now than s/he used to.

My gift today is witnessing transformation.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~­

> Day 186: Art and Traditions

You can find links to my other posts on this project here:

http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html