Day 166 LOL

May 24, 2015

(This is part of a 365 project during my 70th year where I write and illustrate a blog on each day's gift.)

Young artist shows the portrait he drew of me wearing my LOL earrings.

He walked in with his grandfather where the Creative Exposure Baltimore exhibit was showing at New Beginnings during Sowebo Fest. Somewhat shy at first but with a twinkle in his eye and a smile for fun, his five-year-old self gradually warmed up to a senior woman wearing a hat and funny earrings. He held a small notebook and a pen and soon asked me to draw a picture of him, which I did in my seven-year-old style that I never outgrew. We laughed together over the results.

Then I asked him to draw a picture of me. He began the lengthy process as I posed. “I’m drawing your ears.” He kept me informed of his progress. “I’m drawing your earrings now.” He finally finished and, with a bit of teasing back and forth, let me look at the portrait he drew of me. Somehow, my body went missing but the appendages were there. With his artistic exaggerated rendering, he drew my LOL Scrabble earrings from my ears to my fingertips and included a wide smile to go with it. I am glad he focused on the important features.

Then my young artist signed his name and his sister’s and added LOVE. Priceless. I took three photos of him and he told me which one he liked best so that is the one I chose to illustrate today. Surrounded by artists at an arts festival, I pick the one I like best--an emerging artist who hugs the people he draws.

My gift today is my portrait by a young artist.

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You can find links to my other posts on this project here:

http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html

Day 103 Bows and Arrows

March 22, 2015

(This is part of a 365 project during my 70th year where I write and illustrate a blog on each day's gift.)

 

Lauren's innate ability to connect with people is evident as an infant in her grandfather's arms.

“Do you want to have a child together?” I questioned David more than 35 years ago and when he said yes, that sealed our new relationship. He promised me that the baby would be a girl and then suggested that we really should get married. This came to pass six weeks before our baby was born because we had to wait for both of our divorces to finalize.

On March 22, 1980, I gave birth to our daughter Lauren as I took photos, determined that I had only one shot at photographing the most important event in my life. Over the following years, I watched through the lens as our daughter grew but enjoyed more our daily interaction when I put down the camera. I saw a smart little girl who entered school a year early and at 3 ½ was taking piano lessons and playing in piano recitals. Early in her life, it was obvious that she had a mind of her own. She refused to eat sandwiches and insisted on cold pizza slices in her school lunch box every day. During play, it was a special gift every day to watch her imagination as she built tent cities in the living room and talked with her dozens of stuffed animals.

Since I had decided to use my maiden name in my second marriage, David and I agreed on a hyphenated last name for this child who was a part of both of us. Of course, she would be a feminist like her mother.This thought was part of my naiveté. I was a shy, introverted little girl hiding behind my mother’s dress, but Lauren was quite social, wanting daily to bring home friends from elementary school. When she came home from her first day at middle school, she ran into the house shouting, “I made 11 new friends today!” Although a child comes into this world through parental biology and lives among environmental influences, these things are not the sum total of a child. She will become who she is, regardless of these other elements. Lauren helped teach me this over the years and I have come to admire who she has become. Two years ago when she told me that she was diagnosed with breast cancer, I cried, saying to David, “It should have been me.” However, I doubt I could have been as strong and resilient as my daughter has been.

It is not the parents' job to try to shape the child in their own image.  It is their job to help a child grow into a happy, well-adjusted individual and to love her unconditionally as she evolves as a unique human being. Over the years, our youngest daughter has taught me much and she has become someone I am proud to have brought into this world. Every March 22, I receive a gift—a reminder of a most important birthday.

“Your children are not your children.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you,

yet they belong not to you…

You are the bows from which your

children as living arrows are sent forth.”

~ Khalil Gibran

My gift today is our youngest daughter’s birthday.

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> Day 104 Saffron Stigma

You can read my other posts on this project here:
http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html

The New Normal

Our Gun Dilemma...

Embarrassing, Frightening and Outrageous

 

In nine months, we have experienced five mass shootings in the US: 

• Newtown, Connecticut: December 14, 2012. A lone gunman kills twenty children and six adults inside Sandy Hook Elementary School.

• Portland, Oregon: December 11, 2012. A masked gunman opens fire in a crowded mall, killing two and seriously injuring a third before turning the gun on himself. Police officers say the killer's assault weapon jammed, preventing further carnage. 

• Oak Creek, Wisconsin: August 2012. A white supremacist shoots six people and a responding police officer at a Sikh temple before shooting himself.

• Aurora, Colorado: July 2012. A lone gunman kills and injures 58 at a screening of "The Dark Knight."

• Oakland, California: April 2012. A former student at a Christian college fatally shoots seven people and injures three.

People say that guns do not kill but the people holding them do. Almost a cliché. But what about how easy it is to buy a gun, the types of guns and clips that are available and the people who have access? 

Gun lobbyists remind us of the second amendment in the US Constitution. They also remind us of the fear we should be feeling if we do not own a gun and are not allowed to carry it. We do not need to delete the second amendment, but it does need to be tweaked. We can make restrictions on amendments. We did this with the first amendment which guarantees free speech. There are times when you cannot say anything that you want. 

The shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14 has particularly affected me. Maybe it’s because I’m a parent and a retired teacher. I mourn for the victims and their families and I also mourn for part of the childhood that has been stolen from the surviving children. As I teacher, I know how important it is for children to feel safe and anxiety-free in order for learning to take place. As parents, my husband and I always tried to provide a happy, safe, nourishing and loving childhood for our daughters. I think we succeeded. 

I am sure parents of the children at Sandy Hook also have the same goals for their children but last Friday they encountered something beyond their control...something that has either taken their children away from them forever or has shaken their surviving children’s innocence, their childhood, in ways that will always be with them.

Everyone is asking why because we assume knowing the answer could help us find ways to solve this type of violence. I say that regardless of answers we might find, there are things we can do right now. We can restrict assault weapons, automatic and semi-automatic weapons, and limit the size of clips. American citizens do not need the ability to fire many rounds rapidly. Why have clips of 30 rounds? We can also limit gun access to mentally unstable people. Also, regulation changes for gun show and online purchases are long overdue. Forty percent of gun purchases in this country, require no background checks.

Schools around the country are now securing their buildings and conducting terrorism lockdown and evacuation drills for staff and students. How outrageous that this is even necessary! How frightening that must be for children! As a child, I remember air raid drills but none of us ever thought it was connected to our reality. With news of so many mass shootings, children today know that their drills really are connected to their reality.   

We need to shift the paradigm. Gun violence is a public health issue. Once we saw cigarette smoking as public health issue, we began to see things differently and make changes. We saw a need to protect people, children especially, from second-hand smoke. We also need to protect all, especially children, from gun deaths.

It is amazing that in my state of Maryland, there is not even a license required to buy or own a rifle or shotgun if you are over 18. We need a license to drive a car and we need to pass two tests, performance and written. We need a license to get married. We need a fishing license to fish in the Chesapeake Bay. But we do not need a license to own a potential murder weapon that can shoot 30 rounds. And we do not need to take a safety class or pass a test. 

Something is way out of balance. We cannot prevent all gun violence but we can certainly change the unbalanced equation.

For further reading:

(1) Johns Hopkins Center for Gun Policy and Research White paper: The Case for Gun Policy Reforms

http://www.jhsph.edu/research/centers-and-institutes/johns-hopkins-center-for-gun-policy-and-research/publications/WhitePaper102512_CGPR.pdf

“Gun violence in the United States is unusually high for a nation of such wealth. Although there is little difference in the overall crime rates between the United States and other high income countries, the homicide rate in the U.S. is seven times higher than the combinedhomicide rate of 22 other high-income countries.This is because the firearm homicide rate inthe U.S. is twenty times greater than in these other high-income countries. The higher prevalence of gun ownership and much less restrictive gun laws are important reasons why violent crime in the U.S. is so much more lethal than in countries of similar income levels.”

(2) The Case for Gun Policy Reforms in America: Hopkins October 2012 Press Release

http://www.jhsph.edu/research/centers-and-institutes/johns-hopkins-center-for-gun-policy-and-research/publications/WhitePaper102512_PressRelease.pdf

(3) Transcript of President Obama's speech at Newtown, Connecticut prayer vigil: 

http://blogs.suntimes.com/politics/2012/12/video_president_obamas_speech_at_newtown_conn_prayer_vigil.html