Day 63 – Sometimes Outrageous

February 10, 2015

(This is part of a 365 project during my 70th year where I write and illustrate a blog on each day's gift.)

Today marks 35 years of marriage to David. I am his third and he is my second and 35 boggles my mind. In 1980 we were married in the living room  of my small two-bedroom Brooklyn Park house. David wore big hair and I wore a gray maternity jumper. Daughter Lauren was born six weeks after the wedding…all planned.

The late Unitarian minister Bill Barnett officiated. David’s maid of honor was Garnetta Wilker and my best man was Barry Monaco who shook things up a little when, instead of pulling out the ring at the right moment, he pulled out a pacifier. I’m not sure that my mother appreciated the joke though. It must have been very difficult for her to accept my backward way of doing things. 

David and I wrote our own vows that we read again tonight.

Me: I give to you both my words and the unspoken spaces between them. I will pass with you through the door of commitment with understanding, faith, tenacity, hope and love. I will walk with you along the paths of the universe, giving and receiving—strength, encouragement, joy, fullness and love.
David: I pledge to you my love, to be gentle, considerate and sometimes outrageous, to speak with my heart in the language of magic and share my life until we pass the turn of the brook, and time has lost all meaning.

Once a friend who was contemplating marriage asked each of us to tell her three things that were the key to a good marriage. David answered with three but I can only remember one:  Give without expecting something in return and then be pleasantly surprised when it happens.

Of course love enters the equation but love is not enough. I still believe that my answers are good ones:
1. Accept unconditionally with no desire to change the other.
2. Listen more to actions than to words.
3. Remember that you are two separate individuals.

Tonight I suggested that we go forward and try for another year. David suggested another five. We both smiled. If I were to add a fourth suggestion it would be: Remember to smile together.

My gift today is 35 years with my soul mate.

> DAY 64 Two-Dimensional

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