Diagonals

After a struggle, the quilt is finally inside the duvet cover.

Corners define shapes. They are guides when inserting one similar shape into another. Grabbing and holding on to matching adjacent and diagonal corners is most important in some tasks. 

Last week, after washing our quilt and duvet cover, David and I attempted once again to put the former inside the latter. The procedure involves a series of steps. First I turn the cover inside out so I can get a firm hold on the top two corners. While I hold tightly to the quilt corners through the cover, it is David’s job to slide the duvet top down to the bottom right-side out and over the quilt. Then the final step is for me to hold tightly to the top cover and quilt corners while David does the same at the bottom, at which point we both shake the quilt vigorously to help everything align correctly.

It shouldn’t be too difficult — unless I hold two diagonally-wrong corners, as I did this time. Because we have a small bedroom, I usually stand on the bed while we maneuver this feat together.

Since the last time we did our duvet dance, we had purchased memory foam for the top of our mattress. I discovered the new surface makes balance difficult when grabbing and shaking. In the confusion of mismatched corners and foam that remembered steps I didn’t want it to remember, I lost my balance and rolled around on the bed.

Instead of tossing out a few four-letter words, giggles erupted. And, since they are contagious, giggles reached out to David and tickled him, too. Help — hahaha — I've fallen on my bed —hahaha — and I can't — hahaha — get up! There we were with a confused mass of quilt and duvet cover, laughing our heads off.

Being adults, however, and recognizing that we had a chore to complete, we went about correcting our mistakes — with some extra giggles thrown in — and finally got the cover on. With a few shakes as we firmly held our correct corners, this time everything fell into place and I remained standing tall on the bed. 

Our mistakes leading to uncontrollable laughter felt so good. This was a simple release in an everyday moment, an example of making mistakes together, losing balance, losing control and then discovering everything works out okay, especially if some laughter is tossed into the recipe. 

David and I will soon celebrate our 37^th wedding anniversary. During these years together, we’ve mixed up diagonals and lost balance but sometimes the tumbles are fun and ultimately laughter balances the equation.

Note: If you prefer a more tame experience, this video shows how one person can make this a boring chore without the comedy: https://youtu.be/DRPfudNNd8Y

 

Day 305 The Shape of Echoes

October 10, 2015

(If we live with an open and grateful attitude, every day will bring a gift. This is one of 365 gifts during the year I turned 70.)

Love. It is so much a part of my life and it has made all the difference—love of family, friends, self and gifts each day brings. Today did not deviate from this.

This afternoon, another of my nephews was married. I told both Justin and Jess that each of them had chosen well. It was obvious, as it is with many other family members and friends. They were married outdoors in a bucolic setting on a beautiful autumn day with leaves beginning to turn to warm colors. During the ceremony, the minister’s amplified voice echoed in the surrounding hills. His voice bounced back with subtlety and with a slightly different sound shape. I thought how appropriate it was.

During the reception, I asked the bride and groom to pose for a golden photo by standing behind a tent window with the setting sun behind them. The effect of the light and shadows took on a new significance in light of the occasion. Their silhouette was a kiss and the second shadow, a visual echo, was the same but larger and lighter.

I have never believed that two people become one when they marry. I have never accepted that after marriage a woman should be addressed as Mrs. John Smith. Even when I changed my last name in my first marriage, I never lost my first name and I used Ms. In my second marriage, I went back to my maiden name, a symbolic act of a larger belief that it is important for a couple to remain as individuals also. 

But there is a new echo because of that relationship. The echo of their union becomes a different shade and each grows because of their love. 

My gift today and every day is love.

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> Day 306: If Lyrics Were Leaves

You can find links to my other posts on this project here:

http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html

Day 270 Relationships

September 5, 2015

(If we live with an open and grateful attitude, every day will bring a gift. This is one of 365 gifts during the year I turned 70.)

It is about six feet tall and looms over a pot of smaller colorful flowers. For the past week, I have observed what I thought were buds at the top of this plant. This morning, the only thing that “bloomed” were seeds, so I guess the “buds” are “seedpods.” Some fluffy white dandelion-like seeds exploded this morning and began an airborne journey to ensure it will be around next year at this time. It seems the purpose of this plant is not colorful beauty but simply propagation. 

Why do I water nameless weeds that grow in my flowerpots? Why do I not delete names and contact information of the deceased from my Outlook directory? The answer to the first is curiosity; the answer to the second is a desire to hold on to a memory that lives in a real-time listing. I do not fool myself. I knew the plant was a weed that could overtake my yard. I know that my father and mother-in-law are no longer with us and their existence in my contacts will not bring them back. 

I wish I knew the name of the tall weed with delicate floating seeds, but would it change anything? Only in the sense that it would create a relationship if I knew what to call it. I know the names of the deceased still listed in my contacts. I had a relationship with them. Perhaps I leave their names because we still have a relationship—planted in my memory.

My gift today is delicate seeds flying away.

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> Day 271: Synchronicity

You can find links to my other posts on this project here:

http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html

Day 63 – Sometimes Outrageous

February 10, 2015

(This is part of a 365 project during my 70th year where I write and illustrate a blog on each day's gift.)

Today marks 35 years of marriage to David. I am his third and he is my second and 35 boggles my mind. In 1980 we were married in the living room  of my small two-bedroom Brooklyn Park house. David wore big hair and I wore a gray maternity jumper. Daughter Lauren was born six weeks after the wedding…all planned.

The late Unitarian minister Bill Barnett officiated. David’s maid of honor was Garnetta Wilker and my best man was Barry Monaco who shook things up a little when, instead of pulling out the ring at the right moment, he pulled out a pacifier. I’m not sure that my mother appreciated the joke though. It must have been very difficult for her to accept my backward way of doing things. 

David and I wrote our own vows that we read again tonight.

Me: I give to you both my words and the unspoken spaces between them. I will pass with you through the door of commitment with understanding, faith, tenacity, hope and love. I will walk with you along the paths of the universe, giving and receiving—strength, encouragement, joy, fullness and love.

              

David: I pledge to you my love, to be gentle, considerate and sometimes outrageous, to speak with my heart in the language of magic and share my life until we pass the turn of the brook, and time has lost all meaning.

Once a friend who was contemplating marriage asked each of us to tell her three things that were the key to a good marriage. David answered with three but I can only remember one:  Give without expecting something in return and then be pleasantly surprised when it happens.

Of course love enters the equation but love is not enough. I still believe that my answers are good ones:

1. Accept unconditionally with no desire to change the other.

2. Listen more to actions than to words.

3. Remember that you are two separate individuals.

Tonight I suggested that we go forward and try for another year. David suggested another five. We both smiled. If I were to add a fourth suggestion it would be: Remember to smile together.

My gift today is 35 years with my soul mate.

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> DAY 64 Two-Dimensional

You can read my other posts on this project here:

http://bjschupp.blogspot.com/2014/12/365-gifts.html