Day 132 Holey Days

April 20, 2015

(This is part of a 365 project during my 70th year where I write and illustrate a blog on each day's gift.)

My days wake up wearing various surfaces. They can be smooth, reflective, choppy or full of holes. Today is one that is full of holes with many unresolved problems, chores and decisions. While in the middle of a day like this, I feel like a worm crawling in and out of holes while losing sight of lateral movement and direction. With Swiss cheese time, frustration abounds and distracts with waiting and uncertainty. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I can allow the holes to transform from empty pitfalls into explorations. After all, it is not a sin to entertain unfocused hours. 

When I was teaching 7th grade full-time and working on my doctorate, I found the best approach to these days was to walk two miles in a nearby park. During the walk, I gave up trying to focus and allowed meandering thoughts to flow as my body moved. I abolished my mind-critic which fought the flow and I gave up my control. Surprisingly, during these empty moments, creative thoughts and eureka sparkles wandered into my head. The irony is that we have to let go in order to move forward. 

Life is not about control. It is about the experience, the evolving. A ribbon cannot be tied into a bow if both ends are pulled tightly in opposite directions. The older I grow, the more I’ve learned that I just have to go with the flow. 

My gift today is flow.

> Day 133 Writhing

You can find links to my other posts on this project here:

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